Tuesday, February 24, 2009

RONNI'S STORY

Shortly after we were married, Chris and I decided we would like to start trying to have a baby. Four years later, on our fifth wedding anniversary, we remained childless.

Looking back over the past 4 years of infertility treatment, struggles, prayers and tears, we took inventory. We had completed 6 or 7 artificial inseminations with Clomid followed by two cycles of Repronex.

Our hopes were then dashed by a miserably failed in vitro attempt. The attempt to retrieve eggs was unsuccessful. There were no eggs in the follicles! I woke up to a tearful husband, a new diagnosis (empty follicle syndrome) and an avalanche of grief.

Not long after, we prayerfully considered adoption and felt as though God would grow our family in His time and in His way. We received several calls regarding adoption leads. Eventually, God led us to a family in Arizona. We requested a home study and contacted an adoption attorney.


We were in contact often with the birth family and started preparing our home for a new baby girl! However, God had other plans. Our adoption failed due to factors we were not aware of initially.

We could not comprehend why God had allowed us to go through so much heart ache. Eventually, God opened our eyes to all the wonderful blessings he had provided in the midst of our struggle. He had given us a warm church family, a wonderful group of friends, strong family support, and a comfortable home. God had loved on us all along.

Once again, Chris and I explored our options. We looked into embryo adoption while still actively searching for an infant to adopt. Chris really felt that we should try in vitro one last time before adopting embryos, so we headed to the fertility clinic once again. We were told to expect reduced chances of conceiving due to our last result. The faculty members at the clinic were intrigued by our case. They had treated only one other woman with empty follicle syndrome. Knowing that our God could work miracles, we decided to proceed.

We started with high doses of fertility medications. Several follicles developed ultimately resulting in the retrieval of 5 eggs; 3 that were healthy and 2 that were not. They used ICSI to inseminate the eggs which resulted in three embryos.

On embryo transfer day, we were told that our chances were not great because the embryos were slow growing. To increase our chances of conception, the embryologist recommended that all three embryos be transferred. He smiled and reassured us that it would be highly unlikely that all 3 would implant. We held our hope of success close to our hearts and prayed that God would intervene on our behalf.

We headed home to wait to see if God had blessed this process. This was a long wait emotionally. During this time, I received an email from Miracle Mothers. I requested prayer and they sent me a copy of The Baby Book of Promises. It was a great comfort for me to know that others were praying for me. I received several emails from members of MM. One of the emails referred me to Psalm 91 which I have turned to for peace and comfort many times over our journey.

At the end of the 2 weeks, we were amazed by the grace of God when we found out that we were, indeed, pregnant!!! Our HCG levels were high which lead to an early ultrasound which revealed 3 little beating hearts! At that time, we were told that the third embryo would not survive. After two episodes of bleeding and bed rest, we discovered that we had indeed lost the third baby. However the two remained healthy despite the instability of their environment.

Another episode of bleeding sent me back to bed and set fear in my heart. I returned to Psalm 91 with the knowledge that many people were praying for us and God comforted my heart. We are now 21 weeks and are carrying twins--a boy and a girl! God's plan certainly is perfect. The twins are expected sometime later in February of 2008. I stand in awe of God each and every day as I thank Him for another day of pregnancy and another day up walking around symptom free.

Looking back over the past 4 ½ years, God is showing me that he has allowed me to experience many types of loss in building a family. We had multiple failed inseminations, a failed in vitro attempt, a failed adoption, and a vanishing triplet. He has prepared me, in His time and His way, to better minister to others and to hopefully be a better and more patient mom. I am thankful for the journey and the ways that Christ has healed my heart.

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