Bailey Grace -- my miracle baby -- is now 6 months old, but the greatest miracle in my life actually began about two years earlier and continues to impact my life and that of my daughter every single day.
Words cannot express the love and gratitude I feel for the gift God gave me in my child, but surprisingly as I sit down to write this story, what overwhelms me even more is the gift that I received through my struggle with infertility: the gift of knowing my Savior in a way that I could not have imagined. Sometimes His presence is so overwhelming that it's as if I can feel His heartbeat next to mine -- and I know with absolute certainty that I would not have come to know Him this way had it not been for my pain.
I remember the pain -- of waiting for the phone call after a treatment, of crying with my husband every passing month, of meeting iwth the doctors and hearing the odds against us --- I remember the pain --- but I feel the joy that came the day I turned my struggle over to Him -- a joy that began almost a year before I conceived Bailey and remains in my heart today.
In the part of my story you've already read (see prior testimony), I told you how God led me to the point of surrender -- and that I had finally set my plans aside to wait for His plan. My husband and I had planned to proceed with IVF -- which the doctors told us was probably the only way we would have a baby. We had tried to conceive naturally for many years and had attempted surgical remedies and 4 IUIs. They said you need to move to IVF and you need to do so quickly -- but God said, "Wait on Me."So, we did.
We stopped all fertility treatment and we began waiting on direction from Him. And, I'll yell ya -- a lot of people thought we were crazy! I heard everything from "So you're just going to wait on a sign from God?" to "How can you give up now?"I didn't give up -- I gave it over to the Lord.
And through Miracle Mothers and my church, I thankfully had a whole lot of people standing with me and believing that God would fulfill His promises and give me the greatest desire of my heart. I quit focusing on my problems and started focusing on God -- not abstractly, as I had perhaps done before -- but as you would a friend -- asking for His advice, His direction, and His love to direct my path. I took the time to fall in love with Jesus -- to come to know Him, rather than just know about Him. And that has changed my life forever.
It was another year, I think, before Bailey was conceived, but believe it or not, that time was the most amazing of my life. There isn't room on this website to tell you all the miracles He did in my life -- my marriage, my job, my friendships, and my way of thinking.
And then, He gave me a daughter -- and He did it without any more doctors, any more treatment, or any more pain! I won't pretend to understand the motivations of my God and my friend, but I work and live amongst many cynical thinkers -- and I think He did it without the doctors in my case to give the world a clearer picture of His glory.
Bailey's life has already touched the lives of so many that I know -- and I hope in some way her story will help you to persist in the path that God leads you down. I can tell you that the time that you wait on Him will be redeemed. In my case, I will be a better mother because of it all.
SOURCE: miraclemothers.org
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
RONNI'S STORY
Shortly after we were married, Chris and I decided we would like to start trying to have a baby. Four years later, on our fifth wedding anniversary, we remained childless.
Looking back over the past 4 years of infertility treatment, struggles, prayers and tears, we took inventory. We had completed 6 or 7 artificial inseminations with Clomid followed by two cycles of Repronex.
Our hopes were then dashed by a miserably failed in vitro attempt. The attempt to retrieve eggs was unsuccessful. There were no eggs in the follicles! I woke up to a tearful husband, a new diagnosis (empty follicle syndrome) and an avalanche of grief.
Not long after, we prayerfully considered adoption and felt as though God would grow our family in His time and in His way. We received several calls regarding adoption leads. Eventually, God led us to a family in Arizona. We requested a home study and contacted an adoption attorney.
We were in contact often with the birth family and started preparing our home for a new baby girl! However, God had other plans. Our adoption failed due to factors we were not aware of initially.
We could not comprehend why God had allowed us to go through so much heart ache. Eventually, God opened our eyes to all the wonderful blessings he had provided in the midst of our struggle. He had given us a warm church family, a wonderful group of friends, strong family support, and a comfortable home. God had loved on us all along.
Once again, Chris and I explored our options. We looked into embryo adoption while still actively searching for an infant to adopt. Chris really felt that we should try in vitro one last time before adopting embryos, so we headed to the fertility clinic once again. We were told to expect reduced chances of conceiving due to our last result. The faculty members at the clinic were intrigued by our case. They had treated only one other woman with empty follicle syndrome. Knowing that our God could work miracles, we decided to proceed.
We started with high doses of fertility medications. Several follicles developed ultimately resulting in the retrieval of 5 eggs; 3 that were healthy and 2 that were not. They used ICSI to inseminate the eggs which resulted in three embryos.
On embryo transfer day, we were told that our chances were not great because the embryos were slow growing. To increase our chances of conception, the embryologist recommended that all three embryos be transferred. He smiled and reassured us that it would be highly unlikely that all 3 would implant. We held our hope of success close to our hearts and prayed that God would intervene on our behalf.
We headed home to wait to see if God had blessed this process. This was a long wait emotionally. During this time, I received an email from Miracle Mothers. I requested prayer and they sent me a copy of The Baby Book of Promises. It was a great comfort for me to know that others were praying for me. I received several emails from members of MM. One of the emails referred me to Psalm 91 which I have turned to for peace and comfort many times over our journey.
At the end of the 2 weeks, we were amazed by the grace of God when we found out that we were, indeed, pregnant!!! Our HCG levels were high which lead to an early ultrasound which revealed 3 little beating hearts! At that time, we were told that the third embryo would not survive. After two episodes of bleeding and bed rest, we discovered that we had indeed lost the third baby. However the two remained healthy despite the instability of their environment.
Another episode of bleeding sent me back to bed and set fear in my heart. I returned to Psalm 91 with the knowledge that many people were praying for us and God comforted my heart. We are now 21 weeks and are carrying twins--a boy and a girl! God's plan certainly is perfect. The twins are expected sometime later in February of 2008. I stand in awe of God each and every day as I thank Him for another day of pregnancy and another day up walking around symptom free.
Looking back over the past 4 ½ years, God is showing me that he has allowed me to experience many types of loss in building a family. We had multiple failed inseminations, a failed in vitro attempt, a failed adoption, and a vanishing triplet. He has prepared me, in His time and His way, to better minister to others and to hopefully be a better and more patient mom. I am thankful for the journey and the ways that Christ has healed my heart.
Looking back over the past 4 years of infertility treatment, struggles, prayers and tears, we took inventory. We had completed 6 or 7 artificial inseminations with Clomid followed by two cycles of Repronex.
Our hopes were then dashed by a miserably failed in vitro attempt. The attempt to retrieve eggs was unsuccessful. There were no eggs in the follicles! I woke up to a tearful husband, a new diagnosis (empty follicle syndrome) and an avalanche of grief.
Not long after, we prayerfully considered adoption and felt as though God would grow our family in His time and in His way. We received several calls regarding adoption leads. Eventually, God led us to a family in Arizona. We requested a home study and contacted an adoption attorney.
We were in contact often with the birth family and started preparing our home for a new baby girl! However, God had other plans. Our adoption failed due to factors we were not aware of initially.
We could not comprehend why God had allowed us to go through so much heart ache. Eventually, God opened our eyes to all the wonderful blessings he had provided in the midst of our struggle. He had given us a warm church family, a wonderful group of friends, strong family support, and a comfortable home. God had loved on us all along.
Once again, Chris and I explored our options. We looked into embryo adoption while still actively searching for an infant to adopt. Chris really felt that we should try in vitro one last time before adopting embryos, so we headed to the fertility clinic once again. We were told to expect reduced chances of conceiving due to our last result. The faculty members at the clinic were intrigued by our case. They had treated only one other woman with empty follicle syndrome. Knowing that our God could work miracles, we decided to proceed.
We started with high doses of fertility medications. Several follicles developed ultimately resulting in the retrieval of 5 eggs; 3 that were healthy and 2 that were not. They used ICSI to inseminate the eggs which resulted in three embryos.
On embryo transfer day, we were told that our chances were not great because the embryos were slow growing. To increase our chances of conception, the embryologist recommended that all three embryos be transferred. He smiled and reassured us that it would be highly unlikely that all 3 would implant. We held our hope of success close to our hearts and prayed that God would intervene on our behalf.
We headed home to wait to see if God had blessed this process. This was a long wait emotionally. During this time, I received an email from Miracle Mothers. I requested prayer and they sent me a copy of The Baby Book of Promises. It was a great comfort for me to know that others were praying for me. I received several emails from members of MM. One of the emails referred me to Psalm 91 which I have turned to for peace and comfort many times over our journey.
At the end of the 2 weeks, we were amazed by the grace of God when we found out that we were, indeed, pregnant!!! Our HCG levels were high which lead to an early ultrasound which revealed 3 little beating hearts! At that time, we were told that the third embryo would not survive. After two episodes of bleeding and bed rest, we discovered that we had indeed lost the third baby. However the two remained healthy despite the instability of their environment.
Another episode of bleeding sent me back to bed and set fear in my heart. I returned to Psalm 91 with the knowledge that many people were praying for us and God comforted my heart. We are now 21 weeks and are carrying twins--a boy and a girl! God's plan certainly is perfect. The twins are expected sometime later in February of 2008. I stand in awe of God each and every day as I thank Him for another day of pregnancy and another day up walking around symptom free.
Looking back over the past 4 ½ years, God is showing me that he has allowed me to experience many types of loss in building a family. We had multiple failed inseminations, a failed in vitro attempt, a failed adoption, and a vanishing triplet. He has prepared me, in His time and His way, to better minister to others and to hopefully be a better and more patient mom. I am thankful for the journey and the ways that Christ has healed my heart.
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